


Empire of Dirt

by MercuryWells



Category: Final Space (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, POV Lord Commander, Song: Hurt (Johnny Cash), Songfic, sadfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24473506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercuryWells/pseuds/MercuryWells
Summary: In the final moments of his life, the Lord Commander speaks to an old friend.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Empire of Dirt

**Author's Note:**

> I always felt that the Jack | Lord Commander backstory was too one-and-done. So have some LC head-canon that will probably make its way into some of my future work.

_I hurt myself today  
To see if I still feel  
I focus on the pain  
The only thing that's real  
The needle tears a hole  
The old familiar sting  
Try to kill it all away  
But I remember everything_

...

John? Is that you?

You know I can still hear your voice? I can still feel your kindness where so many others turned away.

I miss you. I miss you so much.

John?

Are you there?

…

Why did you leave me?

I don’t even remember what happened. One moment we were trying to close the breach. The next you were gone and the ship was flung into space.

I was going to die. I was going to die and you weren’t even there.

Did you know that was my greatest fear? Dying alone? Has always been.

And then I was saved. The titans from within Final Space rescued me. They gave me the power I needed to forge an empire so that I might one day reach Final Space and become one of them.

With their power I would be able to make things right. I would be able to save you.

…

_What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know goes away  
In the end  
And you could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt_

…

It seems I failed, so does any of this really matter?

I had every power. Every advantage. And I still lost everything to a bunch of nobodies.

All of this bullshit for nothing. All those lives. Gone.

Yeah, yeah. I know I’m not deserving of pity. But if it’s not coming from anyone else it might as well come from me.

....

I didn’t do this to be evil. I was just sick of being powerless.

John, what do you think of that?

Do you believe me?

...

I’m not sure I believe myself anymore.

...

_I wear this crown of thorns  
Upon my liar's chair  
Full of broken thoughts  
I cannot repair  
Beneath the stains of time  
The feelings disappear  
You are someone else  
I am still right here_

... 

What have I done?

It was so easy at first. To give them a little control. So I could do the things I couldn’t do on my own.

I relished the power. It felt so good. So right. I knew there was nothing I couldn’t accomplish.

...

But every inch I took gave away a small piece of my mind.

I didn’t notice it at first. That my impulses were not always my own. It was like an addiction.

Then I started to notice the subtle changes. The times when I scared even myself.

Didn’t matter though. I was getting what I wanted.

…

...

It’s so hard to think these days, and when it’s not I don’t trust it. I can’t remember which thoughts are my own and which are theirs.

...

_What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know goes away  
In the end  
And you could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt_

...

Do you know how strong your son is? You would be so proud.

He’s stronger than I ever was. I can see that now.

If anyone can stop the titans it’s him.

…

I think I hurt him bad, though.

Ripped his arm off. Though I didn’t know who he was at the time. I also wasn’t fully in control at the time, not that it matters, does it?

Killed his friend. Don’t feel quite as bad about that. Avocato always was kind of a bastard.

Also said a few things. Not sure how much damage that did.

…

Do you hate me?

…

...

I’m afraid.

John?

I’m afraid.

I’m afraid the next time I come back there won't be any of me left.

…

...

I want to go back.

I want to go back, John.

Please.

I’m so sorry. I never wanted this. You have to believe me.

…

...

John?

You have to believe me.

…

…

I wish I could see you.

…

…

Just one more time.

…

…

…

…

...

_If I could start again  
A million miles away  
I would keep myself  
I would find a way _


End file.
